Number 2 in an Occasional Series...

Click image to enlarge catchphrase...

Disgusted of River Valley Road writes...

Chinese New Year has finished now, and another swathe of sharks have been killed to provide soup for the Chinese. I did what any Singaporean would do in such a circumstance and burnt down all the sharks fin merchants I could find, then started a public riot. No, actually, I wrote to the newspaper. I don't hold out much hope for publication though as their advertisers might object. So in some ways I am also subject to a censored media. Or maybe my letter is the work of a fish obsessed freak.

One of the things that I do object to here is the censorship of the media. It makes for very dull reading. Headlines such as 'Everything is fine' and 'Greatness is up 14%' are hardly insightful journalism. Thankfully the Internet is almost totally uncensored here, I believe that a few adult sites may be blocked but have yet to put this to the test. I did meet a guy at some drinks whose company provides porn monitoring software (it's the pink pixels %, so stick to the Asian babes sites guys...) but that's as far as it goes. Apparently Singaporeans read a lot of blogs for the 'truth', but you still can't go and see a play yet that is critical of the administration.

We shipped my DVD collection out here. We were warned that DVDs can be subject to censorship and given the themes of my collection (death, drugs, destruction and violence - and that's just Scarface) I was pretty worried. Especially as the customs people charge you to watch the DVDs (much like James making his living), 3 USD an hour, then additionally more to make cuts. Though how you edit a DVD has never been satisfactorily explained to me. The one film in the collection that I wasn't worried about at the time was 'Zoolander', until I read that the film had been banned in Singapore. It appears this was only 'unbanned' last year. Read more at the link. Anyway all films came through unscathed which has to be indicative of Singapore lightening up a little or perhaps the customs guys were feeling expansive. Nethertheless I understand that 'Borat' has been subject to 20 minutes of cutting before getting an over 21's cinema release. I have a copy from Thailand so I'm not sure what state that is in. Even 'Pans Labyrinth' had a noticeable cut where the background music stopped suddenly, I have no idea what was removed.

Anyway, this is my letter:

Catching up on my reading, I read with some sadness the article in Today (February 7th) entitled 'Whale on our plates - how?' where the writer questioned how a restaurant could serve a protected species on their menu. A recent walk through Chinatown to enjoy the preparations for Chinese New Year showed a large increase in the numbers of shops and stalls offering sharks fin and sharks fin soup. It seems at odds that people are prepared to contribute to the extinction of one species through over consumption and yet leap to the defence of another.

Let's look at some of the facts. Currently more than 100 million sharks are taken from the seas each year - a rate at which they simply cannot survive. They cannot survive this onslaught because, unlike many other fish, most large sharks don't reach sexual maturity until seven years old or even later, and then only give birth to a few pups each year. Right now, they are simply being caught and killed faster than they can reproduce. Sharks are wild animals as are most fish we eat and are not farmed in a sustainable way. For a long time we have regarded the ocean as an unending source of food, but this has now been proven to be erroneous with the collapse of commercial fish stocks due to greedy overfishing. It is unknown how long the shark population will survive. Currently there are 18 species of shark on the Endangered Red List. Last year there were 11 species. With fishing techniques becoming more sophisticated and the demand for fins and meat at unprecedented levels, some species are rapidly moving towards extinction. By 2017 it is anticipated that 20 species of shark could become extinct due to hunting, indiscriminate fishing techniques and, ultimately, man's greed. That's only 10 years.

Todays article (February 15th) 'Chinese New Year feasting sends price of fish soaring' only highlights the plight of fish stocks in general. Demand rises due to Chinese New Year, but catches are less and less each year. Supply is diminishing so prices go up. Who cannot honestly say that the size of the fish they are served in restaurants has been steadily decreasing within their memory?

At the end of the day, it is our responsibility to safeguard the environment for our children. Do you want to be personally responsible for contributing to the extinction of a species? One day you may have to tell your children that we used to have sharks, but now there are non left for them to see for themselves. Paradoxically, the extremely high levels of mercury in shark fin can leave a man infertile so perhaps if we continue to eat sharks fin we won't be having children to tell this to anyway.

The Chinese character for shark contains a warning. It includes the two sub-characters 'less' and 'fish'. Time is running out for the sharks and only we can make a difference. Think about what you choose to eat over Chinese New Year and beyond.

Yours faithfully

Matt Tench

Summer's here already!

So far everyone I have had a video conference has said that I don't look very tanned. It's time to put the record straight on this - it's not that sunny here you know! Up to recently it's been raining a lot here, though I think we're coming out of the monsoon now and it's actually divine at the moment temperature and humidity wise. I've added a weather ticker to the blog so you can see what it's like here. This apparently doesn't last and it gets quite sticky as summer (such as it is) approaches. However Malaysia and Indonesia are under 3 plus metres of water (not sure if this is news in the UK) and literally 400,000 people have been evacuated in both countries.

Before I left the UK I bought an umbrella from James Smith and Sons and it's a magnificent beast. A Malacca cane handled 10 rib monster, that defeats even the hardiest monsoon downpour with impunity. The only problem is that the rain hits so hard that you can't be protected from the rebound, and your ankles get soaked. I've actually had to wade across a stream that was once Cairnhill Road when the rain got especially heavy. So with all the rain, you'd think it was pretty miserable right? Not so. It seems that if the rain is nice and warm, it doesn't get to you like the rain in the UK that penetrates your warmest jacket and chills you to the bone. You can still go out when it rains and wear shorts and flip flops.

An ode to the umbrella. And why you should own at least 4.

Video of Singaporean Monsoon



It's odd though because when it's sunny every day I feel no desire to go and smother myself in SPF and hit the loungers, because you know it'll be sunny tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day. The other thing is, being equatorial the sun here is FIERCE when it comes out. In fact, when I have had opportunities to sun bathe (like Thailand over Xmas/ NY) I've tended to stay in the shade as much as possible, just because UV ages your skin terribly. You become conscious of your hands being in the sun and start using sunscreen on them. You do attract a tan just by being outside skating or wakeboarding etc but even my moisturiser is SPF20. However, it's fair to say that with the amount of sunshine you get your fair dose of vitamin D and vitamin happy. Maybe that's why Singaporeans are for the most part, a pretty happy bunch.

Torture Garden eat your heart out...

Last Thursday was the festival of Thaipusam in Singapore, held in honour of the Hindu God Subramaniam (Lord Murugan). It is observed as a day of prayers, thanksgiving for wishes granted, fulfilment of vows and for good health. You can bone up on the legend here, but this is basically the deal. You carry a pot of milk from one temple to another to offer to Lord Murugan. The thing is that the harder you make it for yourself, the more auspicious the offering becomes and the more benefits Lord Murugan will bestow on the carrier.

Now getting from one side of Singapore city to the other is usually fraught with its own inherent difficulties. Slow moving, 4 wide groups of Singaporean aunties causing great log jams of humanity in their wake on Orchard, louche black clad teenagers lounging around on any and every available staircase and the global phenomenon of the number of available taxis being inversely proportional to the amount of rain.

So you'd have to try quite hard to make the journey more difficult. So you do is you don what is basically a giant pyramid shaped mobile milk altar called a kavadi.


This weighs about 30kg. And then you fix it to yourself with some very sharp spokes that pierce your flesh.



Get some assorted friends and relatives to fasten some limes to your back in ordered rows. Not with double sided sticky tape Blue Peter fans. With needle sharp hooks. And then, just to make sure that you are really focussed on what you're doing, get your mouth pierced from side to side with a small spear, then from top to bottom via your tongue with another one.



These are the basics. Kavadis are limited to 2m in height in order to prevent one upmanship, but you can then pimp your kavadi out with as much bling as you can afford or carry, peacock feathers are very in vogue, as are gold chains connecting your hooks to the kavadi and assorted facial fruit kebabs.



The staging area in the temple for the kavadi bearers is an amazing riot of chanting, drums and music, as well as a heady mix of smells. The bearers periodically practise spinning ever faster, creating the image of a spinning top, although not one that you'd want to get too close to. I did see a 'First Aid Post' sign, but seriously, what kind of injury would you have to take there to get any attention? 'I'm sorry sir, but your papercut will have to wait until I've seen these 200 other gentlemen with citrus fruits impaled in their backs.'

Click to see VIDEO 1



Every so often a crowd will congregate around a kavadi and owner, jamming video cameras and cameraphones into the supplicants face in order to catch the moment of the skewering. Usually a male (though I did see one woman with a skewer), his friends all pack in around him, chanting 'Vel, Vel' (spear, spear), enhancing the trance that the devotee has put himself into. He shows no pain and amazingly not one drop of blood is drawn from any of the piercings, no matter how large the implement used.

Click to see VIDEO 2



The kavadis then proceed out of the temple, followed by their supporters and into Singaporean airspace, under the watchful eye of the authorities. Here, drums and musical instruments are prohibited and the kavadis are herded into a fenced off area down the side of Serangoon Road. Cheekily from time to time, the supporters will break into some chanting and singing to gee up their bearer, who more often than not has been forced to stop his already arduous journey by the traffic lights changing to red, well this is Singapore and the car reigns supreme. Some scaling back of the mortification means that in Singapore at least devotees are not allowed to pull the spike/ chariot kavadis by themselves, instead their supporters pull them but also pull back on the hooks to offer some resistance for them.

Following up from my 'cellphone in the gym' story, I think I've managed to top it already. How about this? Now, my question is who was calling and what was said? Maybe Lord Murugan has kept pace with the times and is just checking up:

Lord Murugan: 'Hi, I'm just calling to check that you're in sufficient pain and the milk is on the way, it's just that I have Vishnu coming round for tea at 7pm and I'm a bit low on milk at the moment what with Ganesh drinking it all'

Devotee: 'Mmmm mmmm mmmm'

You can take a look at the rest of the pictures here on Fotki and VIDEO 3 (procession) and VIDEO 4 (getting ready). Another day in Singapore, highlighting what the city does best, never failing to amaze and surprise.